consumerism: a preoccupation with and an inclination toward the buying of consumer goods
Earlier this summer I posted about consumerism, and how it has become an addiction for so many of us. Lately, I have really become aware of a more specific problem: consumerism targeted at our children. We all know how many different toys, tv show characters, and video games are focused on luring in our children.
Times sure have changed. The other day our whole family went into Target to get a few essentials. One of our kiddos had a little money he had gotten from his birthday, and asked if we could walk over to the toy section. “Sure… what harm will that do?”
Let me just say that it was awful! Every aisle had toys that seemed to be perfectly catered toward our different aged children. The two year old fell in love with a series of toys that looked enormously appealing, the five year old found a giant stuffed animal of a lion (her newest, passionate interest), my boys found an assortment of fun, older kid toys, and let’s not mention what I found that I wanted. (Ok, so I almost caved and bought this wonderful looking organizer. I have been wanting to redo my homemaker binders, and this just looked so easy, instead of having to print up and make my own! Now, I’m glad I didn’t because I’m really enjoying designing mine own.)
Well, by the grace of God, we actually made it out of the store without buying anything that wasn’t on the list, but it really was quite hard on everyone. After our little excursion, everyone was exhausted. At the dinner table that night we all talked about what we had wanted, and how it felt to have to leave it at the store. Of course the two year old did not have much to say on the subject, but everyone else understood that we really didn’t need any of that stuff. Yes it’s fun to get new things, but if it means you have to get rid of something to make room for it, it doesn’t seem near as appealing. Ironically enough, after leaving the store everyone was relieved, and many didn’t even want those exciting things anymore.
So here is what I was thinking about. I know that it is hard for me to not “buy into” consumerism and just get everything I desire, so how much harder is it for my young children? I fully understand why I should not spend unnecessarily, both financially and Biblically, but here are my kiddos, still immature and trying to figure out life, and what do I do but throw them into a small “world” of exciting, appealing toys and games.
“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5
“But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.” 1 Timothy 6:11
Now obviously, the moment we turn on a movie or walk into a store, our children are going to have to deal with the fact that there are tons of alluring things that they can’t have. And really, teaching them they can’t have all their material desires is a very good thing, but at some point it becomes mean to taunt them with all these wonderful looking toys.
What should we do to help our kiddos not be caught by consumerism?
- Repeatedly perusing up and down the toy aisle, with no goal in sight, is not helpful.
- Limit, or eliminate, tv shows. Commercials make every toy look like the answer to a lifetime of no boredom.
- Set a good example. If you frivolously spend, so will your children.
- Do fun activities with your little ones. If your teach your children to enjoy having fun by playing with educational toys, they won’t feel the need to get every action figure available.- I wrote a post on this, you can check out here.
- Homeschooling your children keeps them out of the main stream of trendy toys and gadgets.
- Be aware of the temptation. Noticing all the times your little ones are subjected to excessive temptations will help you to help them.
- Skip video games. Let’s face it, their addictive, contribute to unhealthy mental and physical ailments, and expensive. Besides, there’s always a new and improved game or accessory.
I know that our children need to learn not to buy into consumerism, and the sooner I instill this in them, the better it will be for them.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Believe it or not, I’ve made the toy aisle a regular stop every since my children were small. The thing is that we NEVER buy anything unless we’re looking for a gift for someone. Both my kids (ages 4 and 2) learned early on that the toys are just for looking at and when we’re done looking at something, it has to stay at the store with its “friends”. I’ve never had to deal with a tantrum over not buying a toy and they don’t beg for everything they see (because let’s face it, toys are sold in more places than just the toy department in the store!). I don’t reward good behavior in the store with new toys or bribe bad behavior with new toys either. I’ve also made a point to show them by example that even Mommy doesn’t get things she wants at the store.
I’m glad you found a solution for teaching your kids they can’t have everything. Thanks for sharing.
Ugh! Consumerism drives me nuts! And it doesn’t help that my mother-in-law buys my son whatever he wants. She also gives him junk food a lot (which is an entirely different issue). I love my mother-in-law to death (we really do have a great relationship), but I just don’t know how to express my concerns without making her feel like I’m taking away her “grand-mothering privileges.
Anyways, I try to only purchase educational toys (love Melissa and Doug). I do allow my son to browse the toy section without buying anything though because I want him to learn how to look without feeling the need to always make a purchase. Of course, this will likely change when I have more children to handle, but for now, my son has done well because I always tell him ahead of time if we’re not buying.
http://www.domesticblissdiaries.com
I can definitely relate to extended family generously giving to our little ones. It is something I haven’t quite figured out what to do with… And you’re right the junk food sure is a pain. I get so tired of being the “bad guy”!
Thanks for sharing!
Hi there; found my way here from Better Mom Mondays. I really enjoyed this piece. We live within walking distance of Target (attached to a mall, of all terrible things) and with just a toddler and myself…we end up there quite a bit when the weather isn’t great for playing outside.
One thing that I have done since she was big enough to hold toys was to wander the toy aisles, let her hold and play with something for a few minutes, then tell it “bye bye” as we walked away. You’re so right that we have to teach our kiddos that they can’t have everything…thanks for sharing!
Thanks for coming by. It is important that kids know they can’t have everything. That is definitely something we, as parents, need to do.
awesome–we are frugal and not into having the newest toys, fashions, etc. either….
We’ll go the doctors and J will be offered a stiicker of some t.v. show…and people look at us wierd when some sticker doesn’t excite my child…however if you talked about his dog, our chickens, our friends…that’s when he’s excited.
I know it’s going to become harder as J gets older and we don’t jump on board w/everything out there…so you are one of the few people I “know” that has these same feelings…so this really helps. Thank you!
Great tips here…we’re cutting our cable channels to reduce to netflix-a few shows to select from-not that J watches yet-and I’m excited. Can I share we’ve had “friends” say we’re “depriving our child” by doing this?? and that he doesn’t watch t.v. yet?
Today’s been a bit rough, so your enoucragement here is wonderful…
Michy
Thanks for commenting, Michy! I can totally relate to dealing with “well wishers” who feel the need to tell you that you are depriving your little one. I have had relatives offer to pay for t.v. (since we no longer have t.v.), and even express concern for the fact that my kids won’t know about the rest of the world, by not sitting them in front of a television daily. We do watch movies some, but like a Netflix subscription, you can easily control what they are watching.
Glad you found this encouraging, and there is nothing wrong with kiddos loving animals and the things God has made for us to enjoy!
Great blog! I might add that until we chose to chuck out mainstream telly altogether, my kids were well trained to turn off all ads. I can honestly say that homeschooling has been such a blessing in the consumerism fight. Also, teaching ‘giving’ to those less fortunate, sponsoring a missionary, and the fleeting nature of stuff has helped. I read an account of a Dad who drove his kids to the local rubbish dump, and said “look kids. There’s stuff in that pile that people neglected their families for, that kids loved more than their siblings, that broke marriages up and gave some people heart attacks as they worked very hard to buy it. Where is it now? Was it worth it?” Only love and relationship with God lasts, where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
I’m glad you enjoyed this! It is wonderful to hear how you have helped your children against consumerism.
Thanks for sharing!
Wonderful example! I love how that dad took the time to really teach his little ones what truly is important. We all could probably use a trip to the dump.
Wonderful Post!! I have in the past to “be nice” allowed my children to wander the toy aisles in target for 10 minutes or so, even though I don’t buy them anything. It does seem as though when we get home the children have a general discontentment about them. This post helped me see that I should help them avoid temptation because their flesh is weak and the Bible says to not give provision to the flesh. I know that children in general can be easily lead to covetousness and discontentment. Thanks!!
I’m so glad you found this to be helpful. We, too, have spend so much time “just wandering” and it’s just hard on everyone. I really hope that this helps you with your kiddos. I know it is fun to shop, but I really want to help my children grow to live godly lives. You’re right, children can so easily be led to covetousness and discontentment. Thank you so much for commenting!!
I enjoyed reading this. I have an almost 3 year old and a 13 month old. I never have a problem in the toy aisle so far. Of course the almost 3 year old likes to explore the toys and the toys happen to be right by the baby aisle stuff. She also has to be on foot now when we go to the stores because the 13 month old sits in the seat part of the cart and so we’ve had to work on “stay by me” “mommy has to see you. if yo ucan’t see mommy then i can’t see you”. She’ll find a toy and get excited and start wanting to play with it and i wait about 2 minutes because in about 30 seconds she’s on to another toy. I tell her, okay it’s time to go now, lets put the toy back. And that’s basically it.
I find that when a child listens the first time at home they listen the first time in the store as well. They know that at home if they don’t listen, there are consequences and so it’s made into a habit to listen the first time.
Now my bad habit and this isn’t every time so i have to give myself a little credit (haha) is I do end up getting her a piece of candy. I let her pick. And this is only when she’s been good though i don’t tell her “you’ve been good so you can hve candy”. I silently make the judgment myself. One time she had some bubbles at the dollar store and came to the checkout and saw candy. I decided this was a good opportunity to teach her she can’t have everything she wants but she can take home either the bubbles or the candy. She of course picked the candy. Another reason I allow the candy purchase at the store is we never have candy at home so its just a treat i want her to look forward to. And there have been times where I have to tell her “We’re not getting candy at this store today” and she totally understands and doesn’t have a melt down. Sad face. but no public scene . lol
Okay I originally had it in my mind to make a comment about the TV thing. I am SO Happy to hear there are other households that do not watch television. My daughter will watch a few select shows on netflix on the computer but we do not have a tv in our house. I am around a lot of people that don’t watch television but it’s because of their Mennonite faith. and so to find a social group that doesn’t watch television and aren’t Mennonites is very encouraging and great to hear
I find that my daughter appreciates her time more. When she does watch something on netflix I notice her personality is different that day. She seems more bossy and actually looks more tired then the days she doesn’t watch any. She only watches maybe once a week, maybe! and that’s usually during my pms week (Guilty! lol)
I think people that do let their children watch tv regularly are the ones depriving their child from what they could be doing with their time.
I’m glad you enjoyed reading this. It is great that you have started teaching your children while they are young that they don’t need all the new toys out there. It definitely is easier on everyone to teach that young!
As far as the t.v. watching, we are definitely in the minority! We really got a lot of criticism from others when we first had our television cancelled, but now most people seem to just right it off as us being “out there”.
Honestly, the sooner my children learn that the world will look at those who seek God’s will as strange, the easier it will be for them. As a mom, I definitely don’t miss the time my kiddos are zoned-out on the t.v. We have such better days without it!
Thanks so much for sharing!
I LOVE this post! I will be impulsive here and ask you to consider always linking up to our “EOA’ Wednesday link-up party to share this with other readers. It is just the kind of encouragement I’m desiring to share there
Many blessings, new friend!
Jacqueline
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement. I definitely will keep linking up at Deep Roots At Home! By the way, I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog!
I really relate to this post. My children are older now, but I remember those trips down the Target toy aisle, and in fact just this weekend we headed into town to start a little school shopping and were in Target. My kids had earned some money working and I put them in charge of planning out and buying their school supplies. They are so much more careful about what they buy when they are spending their own money. Stores are set up to lure us into spending money and I have spent years trying to learn to be more disciplined in this area. I enjoyed reading your post!
I’m glad you enjoyed this! You are so right- kids are so much more selective when spending their own money. That is an excellent tool to help fight against consumerism habits. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this blog and all of the comments to this post. I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I am a homeschooling mom of 6, and was just telling my husband the other night that I needed more encouragement to do what I know is right. Less consumerism, Less TV, More Prayer & Bible for me the kids. I feel so blessed to have run across you all! Thank You!
Glad you found us, Suzanne. You’re smart to seek out encouragement when trying to go against the flow of the rest of the world. It can be a bit lonely, and it sure makes a difference to me to find others who are trying to make those same changes. Thanks for sharing!