Recently I read an account of a woman who was warning other wives of the dangers of submitting too much. She went on to talk of how much she resented being forced to stay at home, wear skirts and bake bread. She claimed that being submissive and wanting to please our husbands was the breeding grounds for abuse. I have found myself thinking about this repeatedly since I read it, and want to talk a little about it.
Let me start off by saying that I have never been in a physically abusive relationship, and am not trying to advise how to handle such a situation.
That being said, I was saddened to think that there are women out there that are warning against submitting to our husbands. First off, it is biblical to submit, and secondly, it is absurd to think that just because something bad happened to one woman, it will happen to all women. Our God is a loving God, and I see no reason why He would call women to submit, if it would cause men to hurt them. Obviously there is something else going on to causes the abuse, and submission and staying home to care for our families should not be blamed.
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22
I was raised in a family where submission was not something practiced. When the subject was brought up, it was said to be a thing of the past, not something that really applied to wives today. As a young wife, I naturally sought the approval of my hubby, but let me just say that submission was not on my list of “things to work on“. As God really began working on my life, and I actually picked-up my Bible myself to look for direction and answers, I began to truly take notice of how many times God commands women to submit to their husbands. My eyes were opened. I instantly knew it was something that I was not good at, and definitely needed to pray for the strength to make such a change. Well, one thing led to another, and although I still know that I need to continue to work on my submission, I can feel such a positive change in myself and my marriage.
So, as my mind has repeatedly gone back to the warnings of that poor woman, I have taken some time to think about why submission is a positive thing for me, whereas it is obviously not to her. I, in no way, am stating that I am better than her, and maybe that is why I have spent so much time pondering it. From what it sounds like, she was forced into submission by her husband and church. I, on the other hand, was not. My submission to my husband is something between me and God. He showed it to me, and gave me the strength to take the step.
“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:24
Whereas this woman resented wearing skirts, baking bread, and submitting to her husband, I find it to be wonderfully freeing. I am outright ecstatic! I don’t have to try to “keep-up” with the men in the world. I don’t have to compete for the new promotion. I don’t have to sit in hours of mind-numbing traffic each day. I don’t have to lift things that are too heavy for me. I get to stay at home, where super- comfy skirts, teach my children about God and life, make wonderful things for my family to eat, and enjoy guiding my house. Now that’s freedom!
As women, we need to feel brave enough to stand up and say that “I am striving to be submissive to my husband, and although it can be tough at times, it is wonderful.”
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18